Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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