He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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