You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize