you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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