ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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