I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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