We're facebook friends in real life
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Randomize
