u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
