OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I checked into jail on foursquare
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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