the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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