That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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