I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
