oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
