I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
