Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
