Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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