now i know why i became what i already was.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
