She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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