the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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