It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
