help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
