You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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