I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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