Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
