A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
