I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
