So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
