Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
