I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
