Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
