She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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