Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
