We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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