U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
