From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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