also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
