Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
