Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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