I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
