Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
