yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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