there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
