The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
