this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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