her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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