My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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