Tell her she can't have a vagina
I smell stomach acid.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
