i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
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I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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