I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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