Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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