Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
