Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
