I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
