i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
