Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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