That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
