I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
