Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize