i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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