I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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