just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My vagina just clenched in fear
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
