ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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