There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I understand Curling. That high.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
