Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
