took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
