On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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