dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
