i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
