what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
