Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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